As the parent of a Sensitive Child, you might find yourself lying awake at night—researching, reading, and mostly hoping that your child will one day:
• Communicate their needs with clarity
• Create social bonds and meaningful connections
• Participate in their community with confidence
• Embrace new situations with ease and flexibility
Most likely, your child wants all of these things too.
The question that keeps you up at night then becomes: How can I support my child so that their dreams—and my hopes—become a reality?
For your child to learn the skills needed to thrive, there’s one essential prerequisite: Their nervous system must be in a parasympathetic state—the state where rest, digestion, restoration, healing, and learning become possible.
The reality is—there’s a wide gap between where your child’s nervous system is today and where it needs to be in order for them to learn and enjoy life. Many Sensitive Kids spend most of their time in a sympathetic state—stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. What I call: Stress Mode.
Sleep difficulties. Trouble focusing. Lack of attention. Emotional outbursts. Aggression. Shutdowns. Anxiety. All of these are signs of a nervous system on overload. And no one—child or adult—can learn, grow, or thrive when stuck in Stress Mode day after day.
What makes this even harder is that our Sensitive Kids are so often misunderstood. They’re labeled as “defiant,” “oppositional,” “difficult,” or “misbehaving”… as if their behavior is intentional. They’re expected to follow directions, participate in school, and “behave” without anyone addressing the very real challenges in their body, sensory system, and environment.
Before our Sensitive Children can effectively engage and learn, they need support to shift out of Stress Mode and into what I call Healing and Learning Mode. This shift is the answer to that late-night question in your heart. It’s also my life’s mission.
Every strategy I teach, every class I offer, every consultation I give is rooted in this guiding belief: We must support this generation to shift out of Stress Mode—so they can access healing, learning, and joy.
In upcoming newsletters, I’ll share what keeps our Sensitive Kids in Stress Mode, and most importantly—what helps them come out of it.
Try This Today:
Just for this week… notice the times when you’re trying to “teach” your child—whether it’s using a spoon, wiping their butt, saying goodbye and please, or getting dressed.
Can you pause and gently shift your focus?
Instead of pushing through teaching a task, simply notice your own nervous system state.
Are you relaxed? Playful? Stressed? You don’t need to change it—just observe with kindness.
Then notice your child:
How do they seem? Do they show signs of stress—like tightness, withdrawal, agitation, or resistance? Or do they show signs of joy?
Notice both: the times when it seems like you and your child are in Stress Mode (sympathetic state), and the times when you seem to be in a parasympathetic state—relaxed and at ease.
What helps both of you feel more at ease?
What activities bring lightness, joy, or even silliness?
Write this down so you can continue to explore and notice these patterns…
Playfulness isn’t just fun—it’s how we invite feelings of safety.
And safety is the gateway to learning and growth.
If playfulness feels out of reach to you right now, that’s OK.
Wherever you are—it’s OK. You don’t need to force anything.
I will help you further with this in the future, if you’d like…
